Spinning Into Control

Where will it lead?

2010-12-25T22:31:00.000-07:00

I recently listened to "Where Will It Lead?", a great talk given a few years ago at BYU by Elder Dallin H. Oaks, Apostle of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and former President of BYU.

In this talk, he discusses how small decisions "can result in huge differences in position later down the road of life." I'll share my thoughts on the subject in a minute, but first an example that illustrates the long-term importance of some seemingly small differences in present choices:

Here is a hypothetical. You are home with your children. A person you don’t want to talk to is calling on the phone or coming to the door. You are tempted to have the children tell them you are not home. “Where will it lead?” If you do this, you are showing your children that you will lie to gain an advantage, and you are teaching them how to do the same. You are weakening their faith that they can trust you to tell the truth. You are also casting doubt on the validity of the commandment not to lie and on the prophets who taught that commandment. You are even diminishing faith in the existence of the God whose commandment it is. Where will this lead? It will set in motion a succession of consequences that can be severely destructive of efforts to achieve eternal blessings.

My thought when first listening to this talk was to think about how this applies in relationships. For example - in dating, playing the game might help others be more attracted to you. However, building a relationship by playing a game could also lead to one sided relationships, being fake, and insecurity in the relationship.

In another example - avoiding conflict or hard conversations in a relationship (any relationship, not just romantic ones) could lead to hidden resentment, future conflict, and missing out on the increased intimacy comes from hard conversations and resolving conflict.

Finally, one more thought I had is that when someone else is doing something that isn't good for your relationship with them, even if you "see where it will lead," it might be best to choose how you respond to that instead of confronting about them - sometimes getting offended or taking things personally leads to the bad result, and not the action itself. Other times, of course, it's best to talk to them about whatever is bother you, but in a way that don't blame them or try to make them feel guilty, as that may lead to them feeling attacked and getting defensive.

Thoughts about this? I feel like there are some good principles here that I'm not articulating very well. What does this make you think of, relationship-wise or not?

Playing the Game

2010-12-23T06:25:00.000-07:00

When talking with friends about dating, there's a lot of talk about "the game" - the struggle to appear less interested than you are in an effort to make the other person more interested. There are plenty of books out there that talk about this, and it seems that everyone who is interested in someone thinks about it. And now there is a study to support all. Here's the abstract:

This research qualifies a social psychological truism: that people like others who like them (the reciprocity principle). College women viewed the Facebook profiles of four male students who had previously seen their profiles. They were told that the men (a) liked them a lot, (b) liked them only an average amount, or (c) liked them either a lot or an average amount (uncertain condition). Comparison of the first two conditions yielded results consistent with the reciprocity principle. Participants were more attracted to men who liked them a lot than to men who liked them an average amount. Results for the uncertain condition, however, were consistent with research on the pleasures of uncertainty. Participants in the uncertain condition were most attracted to the men-even more attracted than were participants who were told that the men liked them a lot. Uncertain participants reported thinking about the men the most, and this increased their attraction toward the men. (source) (via MR)

So what's a guy (or girl) to do then? Playing the game feels lame and fake. It's also hard to strike a balance between being nice and acting not interested.

I think that the key is confidence. If you're confident with who you are and about where you're at in life, you can be interested without coming across as overbearing, you won't seem as "needy," and relationships won't be as high-pressure, as you're not using your love life as a measuring stick of your self worth.

I guess one other takeaway from the study is that if you're not going to play the game (or just aren't very good at it), let the other person know that you're interested, so they see you as someone in category A instead of B.

Other thoughts about how to apply (or get around) the findings of the study without being fake / manipulative?

Geneology, I am doing it...

2010-12-22T02:16:00.000-07:00

A recent study showed that "thinking about our ancestors boosts our performance on intelligence tests."

An initial study involved 80 undergrads spending five minutes thinking about either their fifteenth century ancestors, their great-grandparents or a recent shopping trip. Afterwards, those students in the two ancestor conditions were more confident about their likely performance in future exams, an effect that seemed to be mediated by their feeling more in control of their lives.

Three further studies showed that thinking or writing about their recent or distant ancestors led students to actually perform better on a range of intelligence tests, including verbal and spatial tasks (in one test, students who thought about their distant ancestors scored an average of 14 out of 16, compared with an average of 10 out of 16 among controls). The ancestor benefit was mediated partly by students attempting more answers . . . .

These benefits weren't displayed by students in control conditions that involved writing about themselves or about close friends. Moreover, the ancestor effect exerted its benefit even when students were asked to think about negative aspects of their ancestors.

Full story here.

Quality quotes - challenges

2010-12-18T10:31:00.000-07:00

"Everyone has their own challenges--some of them are chosen, some of them are not, and some are sort of hand-picked at first but then end up being entirely nonreturnable once in their hand."

This is a from a friend's blog (which is always a great read and a pretty accurate reflection of life in law school). So true. One thing I've been learning the last few years is that we can learn and grow from all of our challenges, no matter which of the above three types they are.

If

2010-11-12T15:45:00.000-07:00

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet triumph and disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you an bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twister by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to be broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
ANd risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
ANd lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

-Rudyard Kipling

Compliments

2010-07-28T19:24:00.000-06:00

I was thinking more about our need to be heard, recognized, and acknowledged, specifically, about how I can better hear, recognize, and acknowledge those around me. I realized that giving someone a compliment is probably the easiest way to do recognize them and help them feel acknowledged and appreciated. I always knew that compliments were important, but had never really thought about how a compliment is really just acknowledging someone else or something that he / she does.

While all compliments are great, those that are specific help others feel especially recognized and appreciated. Saying "you're always so helpful" is nice, but saying "it was great how you ______" or "I love how you ________," referring to specific instances, helps even more.

And now that I this out, those compliments sound contrived. I guess that's because they are.

Heard, Recognized, Acknowledged.

2010-07-24T20:44:00.000-06:00

There is something inside of each of us that longs to be heard, recognized, and acknowledged. Whenever I feel that others don't know what's going on in my life but am not really ready to talk about it with anyone in particular, I get this sudden desire to go update my facebook status. Or change my profile picture to match my mood. Or tweet something that hints about how I'm feeling. Or blog. I think that the desire to be heard, recognized, and acknowledged is what drives use of all that social networking stuff.

Feeling heard, recognized, and acknowledged is also important in relationships. And I would add feeling appreciated. When I do something nice for someone I care about, I don't expect them to reciprocate or change how they act towards me or owe me or anything. But I love it when they recognize what I did and I can see that it made them happy. It's even better when they still acknowledge and appreciate what I did a few days later.

Finally, I've always thought that mutual respect is important in relationships. Thinking about all the rest of this, I realized that if you respect someone you will recognize them, listen to them, and acknowledge them. So, to improve your relationships, make an effort to hear, recognize, acknowledge, and appreciate those around you. And if you feel that someone else doesn't hear, recognize, or acknowledge you, well, that's good to recognize. Maybe when you talk to them about why things aren't quite working in your relationship, you describe why with greater specificity.

Asking for Advice

2010-01-05T14:20:00.000-07:00

Three insights (from MR) about advice -

"You don't know what a person really thinks until you hear his or her advice. Along these lines, if you really want to know what a person thinks, ask for advice and he or she will open up. "

"The advice-giving mode mobilizes insights which otherwise remain dormant, perhaps for fear of falsification or ridicule or of actually influencing people. "

Interesting. And I can see the truth in both of these quotes. I often hesitate to give advice because I don't want others to feel like I'm trying to control them or influence their life. If others ask me for advice, however, I'm much more likely to give it. It's also much easier to give advice if asked a good, specific question. Here's another quote that reflects the fear I had about giving advice:

Often we do not trust people until we hear their advice. We suspect in any case that they wish to control us, and until we know what they have in mind, we remain wary. Sometimes it is necessary to give advice -- even pointless advice -- to establish trust.

Really interesting. I've never thought about the relationship between giving and receiving advice and how much we trust someone. Also, as a side note, it seems to me that guys give advice more than girls want to hear it. At least that seems to be the stereotype.

What do you think about giving advice to establish trust? How can you do that without coming across and controlling?

Helping other communicate

2009-12-29T23:08:00.000-07:00

Recently I wrote about communicating in relationships. Since then, I've thought about how you can help others open up and communicate their feelings with you. As I was brainstorming, I realized that I already wrote about this back in September. As always, feel free to comment.

The value of communication in relationships

2009-12-26T00:32:00.002-07:00

On Christmas Eve we watched the old Christmas classic White Christmas. It's a quality flick, especially if you fast forward through the boring songs and only listen to the good ones. There are also lots of examples of the value of communication in relationships hidden throughout the movie

If you haven't seen it in a while, you might not remember these scenes. But the principles are always applicable. Betty and Bob's relationship (it sounds like those names are made up, and I guess they are. They just weren't too creative when writing the script I guess) almost went down the tubes (with Bob having no idea why) because Betty didn't communicate.

So what can we learn about communication from this movie?

Don't listen to gossip. And if you hear some, don't rely on it to form your opinions of others. You wouldn't want someone to do that to you.
If you hear/suspect/see something negative about someone you care about, before changing how you act towards them, talk about it. Maybe that thing isn't true. Or maybe they aren't aware about how it comes across to others. Or maybe they just need to see their actions from another perspective. At the very least, they would know why you started acting differently.
Give others the benefit of the doubt. We all make mistakes. You have. They have. Once again, you may just be misinterpreting things.
Recognize the value of communication. Recognizing that the only thing that you could lose when communicating openly, honestly, and sincerely is your pride. Sure, it might confirm that your suspicions about the other person are true, but that gives you valuable information about them and also lets them know how their behavior affects you. Another barrier to communicating is just that it's hard. That's ok. All you need to do to start is...
Make an effort to communicate. When I started writing this post, I was going to say that Betty was a terrible communicator. Then I realized that really she isn't a terrible communicator, she just didn't even try to communicate. Sure, her actions communicated "I'm not interested in you," but really that wasn't they issue at all. The message she sent wasn't consistent with her thoughts, probably because she didn't...
Remember that other people can't read your mind. This one is super important. Because it's true. If you just start acting differently, they probably won't know why. It won't change anything, and expecting them to know why you're upset certainly won't help the situation.

This is just a quick summary, and I know there are a number of other points that could be added to the list. What would you add? I also know (from personal experience) that applying these principles is much harder than listing them. Do any of these stand out or remind you of any life experiences? Comment away!

A blog about...

2009-12-20T22:50:00.002-07:00

I've been thinking for a while now that my blog needs to have a topic. And not the topic that used to be listed on top ("A blog discussing mindfulness, relationships, spirituality, and being a whole, integral individual.") Because that's not really a topic at all. It's too long.

I first thought that my blog needed to have a topic a few months ago while reading the easiest instructions for how to start a blog. I already had this blog going, but didn't have an official "this is what my blog is about" topic. I thought about it, but didn't decide on a topic or do anything about it.

Then in beginning of October I read that blogs without topics are a waste of time. And I agreed with what it said. That's not to say that you can't have a personal blog that has the topic "what I did today" or "one (really cute) picture from each day we're married." My blog just isn't one of those.

So, from now on the topic for this blog will be: awareness in relationships. Both relationships with ourselves (especially related to mindfulness and connecting with our emotions) and relationships with others. I'll probably also write a lot about perspective, as it influences our relationships.

Now the question is, what can I learn from the three month gap posts? Well, I had a decision that I needed to make, and I put it off because it was a hard decision. In retrospect, if I couldn't really have picked a "wrong" topic, as I could have just change it later. If I had realized why I was delaying the post, I could have written this post long ago and seen if it worked out back then.

So - when you're putting something off, find out why. Even if you decide not to do it yet, it will be your decision. Thoughts about this? Relationships? Blogging?

Gratitude

2009-11-26T10:38:00.003-07:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here's a great video about gratitude:

Click full screen to see it, as the blog isn't wide enough to show it all (I'll have to fix that...)

Advent Christmas

2009-11-23T23:31:00.005-07:00

I've disappeared from the internet for a while...I read something a while back that made me think my blog should have a topic. Then I thought about it for a while, decided on one, and haven't done anything about it. Expect a post soon(ish) about this.

In the mean time, here's a little video about Christmas, spending, and giving that I enjoyed:

It's kinda sad

2009-10-13T10:26:00.002-06:00

It's kinda sad how I didn't have ANY classes for 10 days, and when school started again I hadn't done the reading for any of my classes.

Relationships, trust, and the fear of getting burned

2009-09-29T13:42:00.001-06:00

Today Thomas Sowell wrote an article that has a quality quote:

There is usually only a limited amount of damage that can be done by dull or stupid people. For creating a truly monumental disaster, you need people with high IQs.

I'm not going to link to the original post because I don't feel discussing the other points he made in the article. You can google it if you want. But I do think that this quote is true, and think it also relates to our emotional well-being.

Just like individuals with a high IQ and ability are more able cause monumental disasters than "dull or stupid people," the most severe emotional damage can only be caused by those we care about. Abuse by a loved one (or someone who should love us) is much more damaging than getting beat up by a stranger, your heart can't really be broken until you've given it to someone, and those who know us best know how to hurt us most, should they decide they want to.

This realization can lead us to hold back our love, keep things to ourselves, and guard our hearts. While this will prevent some heartbreak, it will also stop us from experiencing all that life has to offer. You cannot have the highs without the possibility of the lows, and unfortunately, the only way to learn if someone is trustworthy is by trusting them. This means that you will have to open up when you don't know if the other person will react how you hope, and sometimes you will be burned. It really is like they say in finance: high risk, high reward.

So what can we do to be more willing to take emotional risks? How can we bounce back when those we care about hurt us emotionally?

Understanding Others

2009-09-18T23:19:00.008-06:00

I love understanding other people. What they think about; what is important to them; their background and experiences. Sometimes I feel a little awkward asking others personal background questions, but I have done it enough that it is much easier now than it used to be. I have found that if I do the things below, they usually are willing to open up and share.

Keys to learn about others:

Care - An important principle for anyone who wants to teach others is “people don't care what you know until they know that you care.” This also applies when you want to learn about others. If you don't really care, you won't remember what they tell you anyway, so why ask?
Share information – One of the fastest ways to get someone else to open up is to open up yourself. Sharing thoughts, perspectives, desires, and dreams is how intimate, deep relationships are formed. That is, assuming that both parties successfully...
Avoid judging - Judging someone else based on what they tell you is one of the fastest ways to get them to either stop talking to you or just tell you what they think you want to hear, instead of the truth. While it is easy to see that saying things like “that was stupid” or “why would you do that?” way is judging, we also pass judgment in many much less obvious ways. For example, if we give advice or tell a story about our own lives in a way that tells the other party that you think they should have done something different, they will feel judged. We can also judge through our body language, the questions we ask, and by dismissing things as not important when, to the other person, they are. To avoid judging...
Assume that other people make good decisions - One key learning I had during my undergraduate education was that other people always make rational decisions. At times, people will do things that don't make sense to you (drug abuse, quitting a good job, choosing to be involved in abusive relationships, etc.). However, to them, these aren't dumb choices. They're the best choices that they they feel they have under those circumstances; otherwise they wouldn't do those things. Honestly, people don't say “well, I could do X or Y. X would be a good choice and Y would be a bad choice, I'll do Y.” Ever. Maybe they don't see X as a choice they actually have or can successfully do, or maybe they have a reason that they prefer Y over X.

As a wise man once said, "The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior." This is because, as I'm trying to explain, individuals' behavior is a result of their core beliefs and perspective. Not a result of whether the behavior is good or bad.

Believing that other people make good decisions is a surefire way avoid judging. If you believe this, then instead of judging them and trying to change them, you will ask them questions to understand why that choice seems like the best one available to them.
Ask open ended follow-up questions - When seeking to get to know someone else, ask open ended questions. Questions that don't have a right or wrong answer or pass judgment.

Tone can also affect how our questions are interpreted. For example, if someone is telling me that they quit their job, the question “Why did you decide to do that?” could be either 1) an open ended question to gather more information or 2) a rhetorical question that we use to pass judgment, just depending on our tone.

Once you understand where others are coming from and they know that you care, opportunities to share your perspective will often materialize. Furthermore, when they do feel like they need advice, they will know you care about them, that you have background about the situation, and that you won't judge them. Most importantly, the two of you will have a close, deep, intimate relationship. Which is what life is all about anyway.

Great for each other.

2009-08-27T08:36:00.002-06:00

My brother and sister in law are great for each other. For serious.

Why do I want what I can't have?

2009-08-17T23:21:00.004-06:00

Why is it that what we can't have is appealing to us? I was just thinking about girls, and how sometimes they can seem more attractive when they're unattainable. One thing I've considered is that if a girl's not interested, I don't need to worry about where things will go, becuase they won't go anywhere. At least not right away. On the other hand, if a girl is interested and I'm interested, then (in my mind) there's nothing that will prevent us from getting in a relationship, then getting engaged, then getting married. And that's all just too much for me.

So, not knowing how to deal with that potential situation is one possible reason why what I can't have might seem more attractive. Any other possible explanations? Can you think of any other situations when this happens?

Journaling

2009-08-02T20:43:00.000-06:00

I've been journaling consistently since...let me get my journal...June 9th. I've tried to journal before, but that always ended up being one really long entry every 4-6 months, usually about a girl I was particularly distraught / excited about at the time. Things would have changed significantly by my next entry and what I'd written before would seem irrelevant. Feeling that my previous entries were silly reduced my desire to journal and even cause me to edit/delete some previous entries. I'm pretty sure that's a journaling sin, but I didn't care.

This time around, I don't try to create a full list of everything that's going on in my life. I put down a thing or two that I did, how I'm feeling (generally), and why. I don't worry about having to provide the whole background on someone if I mention them...basically, this time I'm writing my journal for me and not for others to read. The thing that's most helped me write consistently was the realization that entries don't need to be really long. In fact, some days I have just written "Too tired to write today. Stayed up late watching a movie."

I have once again noticed, even in the few weeks I've been journaling, that entries from previous days can seem silly at first. Sometimes I'll read about a strong emotion from the week (or day) before that then faded into another emotion, which then faded into an entirely different one; things that were really important one day seemed trivial from a different perspective; issues I was worried about resolved themselves; my feelings towards others invariably change as I spend more time with them.

However, this time around I see these my changes relative to previous entries in a different light. Rather than seeing previous entries as irrelevant, they have taught me something very valuable about myself. They've taught me that emotions, thoughts, and feelings are by their very nature transitory. That means that I may feel very lonely, hopeless, or depressed today, and that's ok. Those emotions are very real and I can have them and write about them; however, I know that they won't be around forever. At the same time, when I feel very connected, excited, or peaceful, that's ok too. I should appreciate those emotions, as they too will fade. And when they do fade, I don't need to freak out, get angry, or try to force them back into my life...they'll come back. They always have before.

In a sentence: Appreciate life for what it is at the moment, while recognizing that it won't stay that way for long.

Picture from here.

Selling organs

2009-07-26T14:18:00.002-06:00

Currently, it is illegal to buy or sell organs in the United States. I strongly disagree with this law, and think that people should be able to do so.

Here are two wonderful paragraphs that convey my thoughts better than I could:

It's illegal in this country to buy or sell organs for transplant. This is an unjust law made and enforced by people who desperately need neither organs nor money. It condemns kidney-disease sufferers to death and potential organ donors to poverty. It's a law that I will unhesitatingly break if one of my children needs a kidney, and I hope you will have the decency to do the same if a member of your family is in a similar situation.

...The unearned piety of those who condemn these transactions strikes me as outrageous. If someone has the right to abort her own fetus, why does she not have the right to sell her own kidney? By what authority does the state tell me I cannot save myself or my family members by paying money I earned to a willing seller of a surplus item?

They're from this article. There was also a much longer article on the whole kidney shortage (and possible solutions) from a few weeks ago.

Other thoughts on the issue? I would love to have someone speak up strongly against it so I can see the other perspective...post a comment or send me an email if you're interested in doing that.

Healthcare

2009-07-25T20:27:00.003-06:00

A very good post on the health care debate/issues/mess. Paul Krugman is an outspoken liberal economist, while Greg Mankiw is a conservative. It discusses how liberals are generally more trusting of a centralized really puts the whole issue in a different perspective, and helps me understand how something that seems illogical and stupid to me could be logical and the best choice from someone else's perspective.

Also - Mankiw's blog is great reading for anyone interested in current economic issues...I've been following it since I used his (excellent) Principles of Economics textbook in my Econ 110 class.

A tricky problem...

2009-07-23T09:58:00.002-06:00

There are 10 machines that fill bottles of soda. One of the machines is either putting one ounce (of mass) too much or one ounce too little in the bottles that it produces. You have a digital scale. In one weighing figure out which of the 10 machines is off. The puzzle does not involve any tricks. The bottles are opaque etc. Note you can assume that you know what the correct weight is, say 10 oz.

I don't know the answer, but am thinking about it A LOT. Posted at Marginal Revolution and they'll post the answer tomorrow.

Funny Moment of the Day

2009-07-22T19:19:00.003-06:00

Setting: Checkout desk at the library

Me: I have a really random question...
Girl: (nods)
Me: (smiling nervously) Are you dating anyone?
Girl: (smiling back) Yes.
Me: (drop shoulders in disappointment) Ok, that's all. (smiling sheepishly)
Girl: (still smiling, looks like she feels a little bit of sympathy) I'll see you around.
Me: (smiling and chuckling) Yeah, have a good day.
Girl: (chuckles back)

I'm glad I did it. I was so nervous beforehand.

(And yes, I do know her name, I just don't want to put it here.)

For Single People (like myself)

2009-07-16T07:39:00.003-06:00

Sometimes the question to ask yourself may not be: "why don't the people I'm interested in like me back?!?"

But instead: "why am I not interested in those who are interested in me?"

I feel the 2nd question can give us a lot of valuable information about ourselves, our needs, and how we interact with others. I'm not saying anyone necessarily need to change who we're interested in. I do believe that realizing what we want will always help us identify it, pursue it, and appreciate it when comes along.

Accepting Responsibility

2009-07-10T16:13:00.006-06:00

Own up

My roommate wrote that and posted it on his blog. Good stuff. It reminds me of a chapter from The Legal Analyst that we read in Law College last semester. It talked about the self-serving bias, which basically is that when you would be better off if something were true, you're more likely to believe that it's true. This combines with something called attribution error, which is where we place too much blame or credit to either a person's inner qualities or their circumstances.

When our attribution error combines with our self-serving bias, it can lead to this lack of responsibility my roommate is talking about. When we do well on the test, we attribute it to our studying and our smarts, whereas if we do poorly it's because the teacher doesn't know how to write tests or because there was material on there that wasn't taught in class.

(And, yes, I think real attribution error says we attribute more to people and less to circumstances than we should, but it also talks about how we're less likely to do this with ourselves, and if you combine that with the self-serving bias it gets the same result either way).

Quality Quotes

2009-07-08T15:52:00.005-06:00

In a beautiful comparison between worn books and worn people, I found this gem:

We try to do our best, and take the best care of ourselves. And that is a very good thing. But sometimes we screw up, and our pages get a few smudges, and the dustjacket gets a few tears (or we lose it altogether). . . . And sometimes, much as we try, we don't learn from our mistakes the first time. Sometimes we must revisit that painful passage again (and again), to catch the whole lesson.

But at some point, when the screwing up has paused for a moment: we put ourselves back together, smooth out our edges as much as we can, and stand tall, knowing that someone will love us better for our scars, for our failed attempts at perfect life, and for the story no one else can tell.

I recommend reading the whole (short) post.

The lamest excuse...

2009-07-08T15:49:00.000-06:00

Ok, this might not actually be the lamest excuse, but it is pretty lame. Ready for it? It's usually expressed like this: "I'm sorry I couldn't _____. I've been really busy." I know that I've used this excuse, and I also recognize that people are busy. I also feel that this excuse is particularly misleading because the truth is we always have time for our priorities. It's true. If you're not getting something done in the day, it's because you're doing something else instead. We all have 24 hours in every day. We can use those 24 hours how we choose. Sometimes we need to work on our time management skills and such, but that's just another question of priorities.

It's true that often times we have really important things to do. Some people have small children or sick people that they need to take care of, and most others "have to" go to school or work. I'm not saying that those things aren't important; all I'm saying is that we should acknowledge, at least to ourselves, that we're choosing to do those things. No one has to work or go to school or spend time with their family, but hopefully those are all things that we all choose to do in our lives.

It's empowering to recognize and acknowledge that we haven't been gotten something done because we chose to do something that was more important to us. It also makes us have greater appreciation for those other things we chose to do. And if, in retrospect, we feel lame when we realize that we didn't do something because we were playing video games or updating our status on facebook, that's a great opportunity to reevaluate our priorities and take charge of our lives.

The other thing that bothers me about that excuse is that it often seems like people are saying "I'm sorry" when they really don't mean it. Like if someone takes 3 days to call you back and says "I'm sorry, I've been really busy," and then the next time you call they take another 3 days and again apologize. It seems that if someone is really sorry, they wouldn't happen again and again. I find myself doing this as well, as I almost feel obligated to say I'm sorry. Why is that??

In short, I'm not really upset at the people for apologizing or for saying that they're busy, but if someone tells me "I'm sorry I couldn't ______. I've been really busy" I hear, "I'm sorry I didn't _______. I've been doing other things that are more important to me." And really, that's ok. As long as they're being honest with themselves.

I LOVE sincerity...

2009-07-06T22:58:00.003-06:00

So today I happened across Seriously, so blessed, a blog that seems to serve as a stream of consciousness journal for a young, married, Mormon girl who just had twins. Her writing style (and just her style in general) is way different than mine, but I'm still fascinated. Just look at the sincerity in this post about one of her engagements.

Oh, and that whole "I prayed about it and it felt wrong" thing when really you just don't like how they changed their major is a dirty trick. You don't have to marry him, just tell him why not. Let's communicate here, people. Still, loving the sincerity.

Bank of America - $75 deal

2009-07-05T15:09:00.003-06:00

As a very small number of you know, I love signing up for banks / credit card promotions to get the free stuff that they offer. I don't do it ALL the time, because it can be a bit of a hassle to keep track of where all your money is and when to cancel accounts and all that, but when a really good deal comes along I go for it. So far, I've gotten two iPods and at least $570 from various bank and credit card companies over the last 3 years (not to mention hundreds more in credit card "% cash back" promotions). The only real consequences have been $44 in overdraft fees when I forgot that my money was in another account. So it's been a good deal overall.

I've decided to share these deals when they come along, as I'd be happy if someone shared them with me. So right now, you can get $75 from Bank of America for signing up for checking account. I'm not sure if there are even locations near where I live, but you can do it all online so it shouldn't take more than a few minutes no matter where you're at. You also get an additional $25 if you use the account to pay two bills online within 30 days. The one "catch" is that you have to have the account open for 6 months, and that's not even really a catch.

So, if you're interested, the offer is here. It doesn't have a posted expiration date, but often these thinks are only up for a week or two so I'd jump on it if you're interested. If you have questions or sign up for it and want to share your experience, just leave a comment. I'll be signing up in the next few days and will leave a note there saying how it went.

(I found out about the offer via bankaholic.com)

Coincidence?

2009-07-01T18:55:00.009-06:00

Over the last few years I've seen fewer and fewer things as coincidences and started to see them as blessings or experiences that God placed in my lives to help me be happy, learn, and grow. There's a scripture that talks about this too, that says: "And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments." So if his hand is in all things, there are no coincidences, right?

As I was making lunch today I had a thought that changed my perspective. As I opened the drawer next to our stove, I was reminded of the day that my roommate and I both bought oven mitts at the same time to replace the one which burned on our stove top a few weeks before. "What I coincidence that was," I thought. My mind then went to it's usual "but there are no coincidences" way of thinking. However, this time that thinking seemed strange. I realized that there probably are coincidences, and that God may not have a hand in every housewares purchase our apartment makes. So, if I accept that there are coincidences, where do you draw the line?

What do y'all think about this? Should one just assume that God's hand is in everything, so as to be grateful for those things that are? I have a lot of questions about this topic, but am having a hard time expressing them. Thoughts? Feedback?

Secrets to Raising a Happy Child

2009-06-29T16:56:00.004-06:00

I really like these 7 Secrets to Raising a Happy Child. (from Zen Habits)

They are:

Let your child know you are excited to see them when they enter the room.
Teach your child it’s okay to be bored.
Limit your child’s media.
Let your child know they are more important than work.
Let your child make a few of the rules.
Teach your child - don’t assume it’s all happening outside the house.
Model appropriate behavior.

I would add:

Talk about important things with your child. Share with them some of your weaknesses and worries. Doing so will help them open up to you. When they do, listen to them and make sure they know you still love them. Don't try to fix them when they reveal their weaknesses, that just tells them that you think they're broken.
Form family traditions. Family traditions help families grow close to one another by forming a sense of unity and companionship. They also provide constancy and for children.
Allow your children to be responsible for their decisions. Yesterday I was talking with a friend about a youth camp he had volunteered as a counselor at. He said many of the kids couldn't get themselves up in the morning. His grandma then told a story about a mother whose child wouldn't get up in the morning. A counselor advised letting the child sleep in until they decided to get up. The mother responded "but I can't do that." "Why not?" asked the counselor. M: "She'd be late for school." C: "Let her be late for school." M: "What will I tell the school when they call?" C: "Tell her your daughter decided to sleep in."

I haven't raised children and don't know how well this last idea would work. I also know that there are some situations where it probably should not be applied. I do really like the idea and think that it's important to allow children to be responsible for their own decisions; otherwise the decisions they make aren't really theirs.

Heart vs. Head

2009-06-28T23:00:00.005-06:00

I have the tendency to want to work everything in my life out logically. I want things I do to make sense, and expect that the decisions others make will make sense to me too, as they should make logical decisions which anyone would make with the same information they have. Society as a whole seems to take this same approach, with many making moral decisions based on the most logical explanation rather than based on their gut feeling about the issue. Einstein spoke about this value of logic over intuition. He said:

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”

Relating this to the gospel, this quote made me think of the need to follow the guidance of the spirit when making my decisions. I think it's understandable that, when following the spirit, things may not always make perfect logical sense, and at the same time we will feel that what we are doing is right. Although it can be hard to handle those situations when they occur, the humility that comes from that sort of cognitive dissonance is a blessing in itself. Ultimately, we should get used to the Lord's will not always making sense to us in the moment. As the Bible says:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord." (Isaiah 55:8)

On a personal note...

2009-06-26T23:33:00.002-06:00

This isn't the usual kind of thing I talk about here, but a friend (from start something new) tagged me in a survey...so here goes!

What is your current obsession?

I have been one to obsess. Usually about girls I'm interested in (not in a creepy way, just in a normal way) or things I've bought or considering buying (probably comes from me being cheap and thinking about things so much before I buy them). I've been less obsessive recently, but my love of my new 13" Macbook Pro probably still qualifies as an obsession. Either that or journaling...I've been doing that every night for 2 1/2 weeks and I love it.

And there has been a girl I've been thinking about a lot...more in a she-keeps-popping-into-my-mind kind of way than in an obsessive way.

Coffee or tea?

Hot cocoa. Land O' Lakes makes a really good kind, even though I think of them as a butter company. It has big dark chocolate chunks in it that melt and form a thick, delicious, chocolatey goo at the bottom.

What's for dinner?

Tonight it was wedding reception food! My brother just got married, and they had delicious food at their reception.

What was the last thing you bought?

A Camel Bak. I plan on doing lots of hiking this summer. Or at least I like the idea of planning on that (as no actual plans are made).

What are you listening to right now?

The air conditioner. My parents are asleep in our hotel room, plus I usually don't think well enough to write while listening to music.

What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Peanut Butter Trails from the BYU Creamery. Or just Blue Bell ice cream from Texas (any kind), even though I've only had it once.

What is your favorite color?

Cougar blue. While I do love the BYU Cougars with all my heart, that's not why it's my favorite color...I just really like that shade of blue.

What is your favorite piece of clothing in your wardrobe?

My tan sketchers that have the elasticy-thing going through them instead of laces. They look a lot like these, but with a different color-scheme. Very comfortable shoes.

What is your dream job?

I want to help people. Often I feel like some jobs (like being President of the United States or a Supreme Court Justice) will allow me to better do that, and then I remember that helping people is all about individuals (by watching a movie like Les Choristes, for example) and think I should scrap law school and be an elementary school teacher. I'll probably fall in the middle of that spectrum and be very happy there as long as I can 1) help people lives through my work, and 2) be a great dad and husband.

How many times do you press the snooze button before you get up?

For a while after I got back from Spain I didn't set an alarm at all and would wake up between 7:00 and 8:00 every morning. It was fantastic. That sounds sarcastic, but I really enjoyed it a lot. Now I'm on a wedding trip and my whole clock is thrown off, so we'll see what happens when I get back home.

When I do set an alarm I usually hit snooze once, but it can become 2-3 times if I'm really tired and set it for earlier than necessary to do what I need to do. It's much easier if I use music to wake up.

Tagging!!
I like reading these from everyone, but now the five I'd be most interested in hearing responses from are...

Anemome
Invincible Summer
Insert Clever Blog Name Here
Laughter and Tears
The Eller Family

(I feel weird putting the titles of your blogs instead of your names, but it's already done, and we probably shouldn't live in the past anyway).

Edit: Spelling (I guess my spellchecker isn't working, and I can't spell "obsession" on my own).

Decluttering

2009-06-26T00:39:00.000-06:00

Two weeks ago, my mom visited my apartment. When she saw my room, she was shocked. I've always had a clean room, but only in the sense that it's not dirty. However, my room has always been very cluttered, with books to read spread on the tables and floor, stacks of papers needing my attention, and once-worn clothes hanging from chairs, hooks, and doors.

During my internship in Spain, I loved the not-clutteredness of my room. In Spain it wasn't cluttered simply because I hadn't brought enough with me to my normal through clutter-job, but when I returned home I felt stressed when in my room. I wanted to change.

Fortunately, that very week Zen Habits posted A Simple Guide to Keeping Your Counters Clutter-free. The ultra-condensed version is have a home for everything (as my mom would always say) and that home can't be a flat surface (unless it's something like an alarm clock or desk lamp that belongs on a flat surface). But you should really read the post, it's excellent, and I can tell you from experience, it works.

Penelope Trunk's Brazen Careerist

2009-06-24T16:37:00.004-06:00

Penelope Trunk's Brazen Careerist is a great blog. She has a post about abortions and careers that is an especially interesting read. It really applies to "giving up dreams" to have children at any point in ones life. Penelope's Guide to Blogging is also a great read.

If you're interested in my views on the issue, I'm very opposed to abortions and very much a fan of blogging. I've found for myself that "writing regularly is a path to self discovery." (as she said in her guide to blogging). I just wish I could write more better...

Grab bag

2009-06-24T06:25:00.004-06:00

A bunch of links that I found interesting:

I hate unions. They may have produced net gains for a while, but now I'm convinced they do more harm than good. New York schoolteachers have given me another reason to hate unions. Update: Here is a news article talking about the same thing.

Spending less on health care is going to require that some people don't live as long. That's hard for some people to accept, but doctors aren't out behind hospitals burning money or anything. We have too few health care professionals in many places, so we can't pay doctors less without having more problems (and less health care) on that front (because if you pay doctors less, some of them will stop being doctors). Reduced health care costs would require not giving expensive medical treatment to some individuals, like heart pumps, which cost more than $500,000 per quality adjusted life year (QALY). More on QALYs here. (Rather economic-y).

Which side would oppose having an econ professor on the jury in a medical malpractice case? I bet the plaintiff (the one suing) was the one who wanted him out. But then again, he would know that economic studies have valued lives at about $3-5 million (if my memory serves me well) so maybe the defendants wanted him out for that. Of course, the prosecution would be explaining that to the jury anyway.

You've probably heard about the controversy over the possibly rigged election in Iran. This article is written by two guys who use statistics to show that it reported numbers were probably made up.

Tricking myself

2009-06-22T10:36:00.004-06:00

Sometimes it's helpful to trick myself. For example, for the last few weeks I've been working two part time jobs. I like the work, it's interesting and isn't too much to do in a week or anything. However, it was taking me FOREVER to get the work done. I would "work" all day (not do anything fun), but really only get 2-3 hours of billable work done. Fortunately, this last week I (finally) met my supervisor for my internship and was able to get a desk / computer in the office, which really helps me be productive because I can just go there and get things done.

I then went and set a schedule with him so that I can go in early three days a week, stay until the early afternoon, and be DONE. Honestly, they probably wouldn't care if I didn't come in during those hours...when I proposed the time he was like "sure, whatever." But I don't want to test that; as long as I think that it really matters that I'm there that early and stay those hours I will get it done during that time and have so much more free time this summer.

So, yeah. Sometimes it's helpful to trick myself.

Touching.

2009-06-18T21:16:00.004-06:00

I just read a touching essay titled Anger Mismanagement. It also deals with loving oneself, raising children, forgiveness, and being able to accept imperfections in ourselves and others.

Blogging

2009-06-14T22:55:00.007-06:00

It seems a little odd to blog about blogging, but I've had a few conversations about blogging this past week, have been thinking about why I enjoy it, and thought I would share some of my thoughts.

I like blogging because it helps me notice things in my life. It's easy for days to pass without writing anything, so posting consistently requires that I pay attention to what's going on around me. Also, to write something that I feel is of any value, I have to think deeply about things. Much deeper than I would if I weren't trying to write something understandable. I like the deep, critical thinking that follows. Finally, my favorite thing about blogging is reading my friends' blogs. I love getting a glimpse into their thoughts, experiences, and insights, and often find them beautifully expressing truths that I hadn't understood until I read them in their blog.

These are some of the reasons I like blogging, but I know there are a lot more. What do you like most about blogging?

Dry humor.

2009-06-11T23:01:00.003-06:00

These bumper stickers are hilarious to me. My humor is a little quirky though...don't be surprised if you don't laugh.

I'm grateful for...

2009-06-09T22:34:00.003-06:00

I'm grateful for friends who ask thought provoking questions about things that I need to think about. Today this happened over lunch. Thanks, friend!

I was going to leave it there, but real quick, isn't it great how other people can help us see things in our lives that we don't observe? I think obvious one reason they can do this is because they are farther away from the situation and aren't as emotionally invested. Can you think of any other reasons they can do this? (Other comments on this topic as also welcome, of course).

30 Days to a Better Man

2009-06-08T08:27:00.003-06:00

The Art of Manliness is a wonderful blog...definitely my 2nd favorite non-friend blog. It's all about improving yourself, family, and doing what's right. While some posts don't interest me, the majority are fantastic. For girls and guys, I'm sure.

Right now they're having a 30 Days to a Better Man program, where every day for thirty days they post something you can do to be a better man. So far the posts have been:

Day 1: Define Your Core Values
Day 2: Shine Your Shoes
Day 3: Find a Mentor
Day 4: Increase Your Testosterone (ok, maybe this one wouldn't be so great for girls...)
Day 5: Cultivate Your Gratitude
Day 6: Update Your Resume
Day 7: Reconnect with an Old Friend
Day 8: Start a Journal

If you're interested in this blog, I recommend the archives, which contain posts on important topics like Stop Hanging Out with Women and Start Dating Them, How to Leave the Perfect Voicemail, and most importantly, How to Survive a Bear Attack.

Relationships

2009-06-07T22:03:00.003-06:00

I've done a little thinking about what it is that makes committed, healthy relationships so great. It seems to me that the best things about a relationship are:

There's always someone you can focus on (who's not yourself). There's also a constant opportunity to serve someone else and think of ways that you can make their life more enjoyable. And service brings joy.
You have someone who accepts you on your good days and your bad days...who loves you for who you are, while inspiring you to become better.
You're part of a team, and have someone who you can work and scheme with.
There's someone else you needs to.
There's a sense of constancy and trust. If you feel you can depend on someone else to be there for you, it gives you confidence and helps you feel their love.

These are just a few of my thoughts...what do you think? What else would you add to this list?

Update: Even if you don't have anything to add, check the comments for some great additions to this list.

And I'm Back!!

2009-06-06T23:03:00.002-06:00

So I'm now back home now and hope to be posting on a more regular basis. Just FYI.

Change

2009-05-23T13:45:00.002-06:00

I like change. I think the main reasons I like change are because change:

Brings new experiences, which I like.
Makes me work at things and figure things out. I like that, to a point.
Provides a good opportunity to turn over a new leaf...to keep the good things from the past, and leave the bad things behind. To apply what you've learned.
Helps me learn new things, probably because change...
Makes me see my life and problems from a new perspective. Things that used see really important can seem less important, and I really appreciate things I took for granted.

However, while change can lead to great experiences and growth, most of the problems that I think we face aren't from our environment. Sometimes they are, but often I think no matter what our environment, if we look at things a certain way or interact with others a certain way, we'll always have certain problems (e.g. if I don't get along with any of my roommates now, changing apartments probably won't fix my problem. Because I'm probably the problem). So, while change can be good, don't force change in your life as an attempt to run from your problems.

Quality Quotes: Distraction

2009-05-14T14:19:00.003-06:00

Yesterday on the metro home I was listening to a really great talk by Elder Scott, and he shared a wonderful quote. He said:

Have you noticed that when you have determined to accomplish a very important task, many other good ideas for other things to do seem to come to your mind? If they are allowed to interfere, they will distract you from the more important objective. I have found help by writing down those thoughts as they come, promising myself that as soon as I finish the important task, I will attend to them in priority. That practice helps me stay focused on those matters which are essential.
I believe there are times in your life when, because of your righteousness and your determination to do what is right, Satan will not be able to deflect you into serious transgression. He will switch then to the strategy of placing before you a banquet of good and worthwhile things to do, meant to distract you from those that are the most
important and essential to accomplish in your life.
Fortunately, as you pray for guidance, the Holy Ghost will help you identify those matters that are vital and necessary to accomplish above others. That means that at times you may have to set aside things that would be worthwhile and enjoyable to pursue--for those that are most vitally important for that period of your life.

Wow. That, my friends, is a quality quote. It was given by Elder Scott in 1999 in a talk entitled Having No Regrets. You read or listen to the talk on the BYU Speeches Website.

Perspective: Inclement Weather

2009-05-13T14:06:00.005-06:00

So on my first flight on my way to Europe, from SLC to Dallas, things were going just dandy. We'd flown for a while, when the pilot came on the intercom thing. I figured he was going to give the classic going in for a landing / time and weather in Dallas speech, but no! He said that there were heavy storms so we had to redirect to Lubbock. Turns out we didn't pull up to the terminal at the Dallas airport for another eight hours (!), but that's not the focus of our story.

What was most suprising about the whole thing was the annoucement that there was inclement weather. I had a window seat, and it was obviously bright and sunny. When I looked down, there were clouds everywhere, but the clouds were white too! Not at all like storm clouds. And that's when I realized it. It made perfect sense that it was bright and sunny and yet really stormy at the same time, as we were ABOVE the storm. Clouds are ALWAYS white!

So there are two learnings here: 1) If you're in a stormy time of life, things may not seem so stormy when you consider the big picture / eternal perspective. Actually, learning 1b would be that others may be having a really hard time (symbolized by storms, if you didn't get that one), but from our perspective it might not appear that was at all. So I guess you just never know what others are going through unless you really ask them and they open up enough to tell you.

Learning number 2 - the clouds were white because clouds are always white! The only reason they seem dark is because there's lots of them and the ones on top (that I saw from the plane) are stopping the light from the sun (which is always there...I guess we could have a learning 3 about the light always being there, but we shan't) from getting through. So learning 2 is that there are no "darkeness creators," just things that stop the light. So if there is light, darkness can't overwhelm it...the very fact that there is lights means the darkness must go.

I hope this makes sense to someone, because I am obviously pretty excited about it. So excited that my ability to express myself has left me.

Wow.

2009-05-12T14:42:00.005-06:00

So it´s been a LONG time since I´ve posted anything...in that week and a half, I've been to London, Paris, and am now living in Madrid. I have some stuff to write about, and even wrote it down so I wouldn't forget, so be expecting something...in the next two days. Hopefully tomorrow. But if not tomorrow, definately by tomorrow's tomorrow. Also, the spellchecker thinks that I meant to type this all in Spanish, so now you all get to see how bad my spelling really is.

Can't think straight...

2009-05-01T04:59:00.004-06:00

So finals have been over for a week, and yet I'm up doing school stuff later then I ever have before. And I still need to write 8 more pages for this paper, and it's due in 12 hours. Thanks so much, law review! I wish I had more experience with staying up super late to study so that I'd know if I should fall asleep for a few hours, or just keep going.

Quality Quotes

2009-04-30T19:07:00.003-06:00

"It only gets dark when you turn off the light. You can't bring the dark in."

True true. There's no way to make darkness, it's just an absence of light. Similarly, there's no way that darkness could ever overpower light...light always wins when it's up against light. The only way for darkness to win would be to turn off or reduce the light.

I don't feel like I'm explaining my thoughts on the quote very well (I'm way burned out right now), but fortunately it's pretty self-explanatory and y'all are smart people.

From: Notes from a fireside on a friend's blog, Insight.

Unemployment Rates

2009-04-29T11:34:00.003-06:00

Google has a neat new feature that let's you see and compare unemployment rates. I ran a comparison between the unemployment rates in Utah, California, and the US as a whole. Interesting. You can add / remove states and counties, too!

Conference Highlights!

2009-04-27T21:11:00.003-06:00

The Church put out a General Conference highlights video. It's great!

They also have a video entitled "The Miracle of the Holy Bible" (make sure you click the HQ)

And ANOTHER one called "An Apostle's Easter Thoughts on Christ"

They're all really good. In fact, just check here to see all the videos the Church as put on youtube.

Quality Quotes: Acceptance and Susan Boyle

2009-04-25T16:03:00.005-06:00

You've probably heard about Susan Boyle, who's performance of I Dreamed a Dream on Britain's Got Talent propelled her into the internet spotlight. The Mirror also has an article telling about her past, which certainly wasn't an easy one.

As for what makes us like her so much? Here's one take on it:

No matter how much we mock those we consider beneath us, it's much more satisfying to be reminded that everyone has dignity.

That's because when we laugh at someone for being a freak, we're laughing out of fear. We're laughing because we want to prove that we are not like that loser over there. If we can shame the people who don't belong, then we can prove that we do.

When we embrace an outsider, though, we're paving the way for our own acceptance in the future. Eventually, we'll all feel like outcasts, and none of us wants to be laughed at. The Susan Boyle Story suggests we won't be. Instead of fearing for our own eventual shame, we can count on society to hear what's beautiful in us. We can trust that if we just show our true selves, we will be embraced.

Whether or not that moral is true in the real world, it's alluringly true in the Susan Boyle Story. By participating in the narrative that television has constructed for her, by cheering her on and watching her video over and over, we can not only feel good about graciously welcoming an outsider, but also feel relief for helping create a world that will someday welcome us.

I wholeheartedly agree. Here's to acceptance. (Written by Mark Blanksenship, I found it at Marginal Revolution).

Conquering Fears

2009-04-22T19:27:00.003-06:00

So it's been a while since I've posted...but I'll be ALL DONE with finals (and my first year of law school) tomorrow morning! I'm excited.

During finals I've had a lot of apprehension and nervousness. Especially for the Crim Law final that I took Monday. That test terrified me. I think these feelings of nervousness, apprehension, and terror come from the fear that maybe I'm just not good enough. Maybe I'm not smart enough, or won't remember what I should, or will make a huge mistake.

Lo and behold, today Zen Habits (a wonderful blog) posted A Guide to Beating the Fears That Are Holding You Back. It's full of great advice that I think we can all apply, no matter what our fears.

Quality Quotes: Prayer

2009-04-19T09:04:00.003-06:00

Here's a great quote about the relationship between the scriptures and prayer.

We can and must go often and carefully to the word of God. If we become casual in our study of the scriptures, we will become casual in our prayer. We may not cease to pray, but our prayers will become more repetitive, more mechanical, lacking real intent. Our hearts cannot be drawn out to a God we do not know, and the scriptures and the words of living prophets help us to know Him. As we know Him better, we love Him more.

I usually feel the drive to pray, more strongly then I feel the drive to study my scriptures. I also often wish I knew how I could be more heartfelt when I pray. This quote really changed my perspective and helped me see the relationship between the two.

It is from a talk by Henry B. Eyring.

Fast food...

2009-04-17T19:43:00.002-06:00

So some people ordered 14 fast food items from different restaurants and then took pictures of them, just how they were. They then put those pictures next to the companies' ads that show the food. The results are kinda gross, but not really surprising at all. But still kinda gross.

Edit:
On the other hand, Health.com did a study of the five healthiest fast food chains, and Chipotle, the BEST restaurant in the whole world, is on the list. I am addicted to that place in quite a serious way. The others are Noddles & Company, Cosi, Panera, and Au Bon Pain. I haven't been to Cosi or the Pain one, but I recommend Noodles (on the off chance that someone hasn't been there) and highly recommend Panera. It's great. Oh, and the results are talked about here, although I can't find the original resport thing anymore.

Zen Buddist Purification Sutra

2009-04-15T16:27:00.006-06:00

All the evil karma, ever created by me since of old;
on account of my beginingless greed, hatred, and ignorance;
born of my conduct, speech, and thought;
I now confess openly and fully.

One day I want to be comfortable enough with myself to do this. To be at peace with my dualistic nature and be able to admit my faults and flaws, openly and fully, to others.

Frowny Face = Frowny Marriage

2009-04-15T15:39:00.003-06:00

A study found "that how much people smile in old photographs can predict their later success in marriage...the results indicate that people who frown in photos are five times more likely to get a divorce than people who smile."

Just remember, correlation doesn't imply causation.

Tweenbots!

2009-04-14T12:22:00.002-06:00

A really cool project! I love the little guy, even though I've never met him. And probably never will. And yet I still am referring to him as if he were a person. And was male. Probably just because it is the cutest thing since...puppies. Even cuter than babies, and with much less clean-up!

Missionary work

2009-04-14T11:14:00.003-06:00

A few days ago I read about Obama easing some US restrictions on Cuba. What I didn't consider when I first read this post was how this is a step towards missionary work in Cuba.

There are still a number of obstacles to sharing the gospel in Cuba, both in the (many) existing US restrictions and in Cuba's own policy, but this certainly is a step in the less-obstacles direction.

Redefine Service

2009-04-13T22:31:00.002-06:00

About a year ago, BYU started a campaign called "Redefine Service." It's all about reaching out to others and taking advantages of the little opportunities to help others that surround us daily.

I really like the whole concept and I especially like the video. It's really good. It's on the redefine service page.

Obama Nominates EchoHawk to Dept of the Interior

2009-04-13T09:58:00.002-06:00

President Obama has nominated Larry EchoHawk, my Criminal Law Professor (whose final I'm taking in a week...) to be Assistant Secretary for Indian Affairs for the Department of the Interior. It's been a long time coming...the vetting process has gone on for months. I loved his class and am confident that he will serve our nation well.

The official announcement is on the white house website.

New web address

2009-04-12T21:23:00.003-06:00

Hey! Just wanted to let you know that this blog is also now available at spinningintocontrol.com (or even at www.spinningintocontrol.com). The old address (spinningintocontrol.blogspot.com) still works, too, so you've got all sorts of options.

Challenges and Choices

2009-04-12T21:07:00.004-06:00

Here's a great quote from Elder Hales' talk from last week's general conference.

Our challenges, including those we create by our own decisions, are part of our test in mortality. Let me assure you that your situation is not beyond the reach of our Savior. Through Him, every struggle can be for our experience and our good (see D&C 122:7). Each temptation we overcome is to strengthen us, not destroy us.

This quote really causes me to shift how I look at things. I think it's easy to see external challenges (like losing a job or a loved one) as a helpful part of this whole life thing, and challenges we cause as just bad choices that we'd be better off without. However, we're really not expected to be perfect, and one part of life is overcoming challenges that are a result of our choices. They too are an opportunity to grow and improve.

I think one reason this idea might be uncomfortable to some is that they think that if we say this then people will just go out and make bad decisions and justify it by saying that they're just growing. I really don't think that's too much of a problem, but don't really want to go into explaining why I think this here. Talk to me or send me an email if you want to hear my thoughts about it.

Which is Worse

2009-04-10T12:23:00.004-06:00

Which is worse, pride or sexual sin? - A very interesting post on Junior Ganymede comparing talks by Jacob and President Benson. I agree with his conclusion.

If you don't take care of yourself...

2009-04-09T13:46:00.007-06:00

If you don't take care of yourself, who's going to?

This past year I've learned a great deal about the importance of taking care of myself. It's easy to forget to do it...often we move so fast that we don't even take the time to examine ourselves, we don't even know what our needs ARE. I've found that while taking care of myself helps me feel happier about my life and where I'm going, it's far from a selfish endeavor. When I take care of myself I'm able to lift others and see the world through new eyes. As the saying goes, "you can't draw from an empty well."

So, how can you take care of yourself? The following activities have really helped me:

Express yourself. This has been the biggest way I've been able to take care of myself. Being totally and entirely open someone who cares about you (or with a number of people who do) is the most helpful, but if you're not in a place in your life where that's an option, journaling and blogging have really helped me recognize my needs, and at the same time, fulfill many of them.
Have your feelings. Don't be afraid to feel your innermost emotions. Thinking about what's going on in my life and how I feel about it while being REALLY honest with myself has helped me do this.
Do activities that help you feel. I don't know if this category makes much sense, but listening to music or reading books that express others emotions has helped me feel and acknowledge my own emotions. Watching some movies has helped me with this. Basically, I think my professor summed it up pretty well when she talked about the arts.
Avoid activities that make you numb. There are a number of activities that can numb us to the world around us and stop us from feeling our emotions (or put us past feeling). I've noticed that watching some movies and playing video games do this to me. I'm not saying that you shouldn't do these activities, just avoid doing things in order to escape stress or other emotions you feel, but are trying to escape.
Serving others. Being there for others and helping them helps me connect with myself.

What needs do you have? What's helps you connect with your emotions?

Friendliness

2009-04-08T19:57:00.004-06:00

I usually spend most of my days (weekdays at least) over at the law library. Every so often I go to the main campus library for a change of scenery. One thing that's always surprising to me is how not friendly people are over on the main campus! I mean, I'm sure that lots of them are friendly once you get to know them, but I when I pass people they either avoid eye contact, or when eye contact is made they immediately look away. I'd never really noticed it before, and can now see how transfer students think that BYU is too big.

I think the biggest difference is simply the number of students. The law school has 450 students, so even if although I don't know everyone's names I recognize just about everyone and so I'm used to smiling at people and having them smile back. The main campus, on the other hand, has around 30,000 students. So there's more at the 2nd one. Yeah. So what can we do?

Smile at people when you pass them.

Say hello. Or at lead give them a head nod. Or a friendly wink.

Don't avoid eye contact. Especially if they smiled at you! Makes them feel a bit awkward.

I'm not saying that not smiling, avoiding eye contact, or passing silently are really bad things. I'm also not saying that you are anti-social. I am saying that a little bit of friendliness can go a long way.

Procrastination...

2009-04-07T14:28:00.004-06:00

So I have a lot of studying to do for finals, just like pretty much everyone else who's in school now. I find that while it's hard to concentrate and focus, the hardest part (by far) is STARTING a study session. Once I'm going I actually do a decent job. I really wonder why this is...if studying isn't so hard once I'm doing it, why does my mind resist doing it so much?

Zen Habits has a post of 10 ways to beat procrastination. It's interesting that 5, 6, and 9 all have to do with starting the project.

Attractiveness Survey

2009-04-05T00:06:00.008-06:00

So a friend of mine did a great attractiveness survey (here are the results). It was interesting, especially because some questions were asked to both guys and girls so that you could compare results. There were 386 results, so there's some validity there. 94% self identified as LDS/mormon, so keep that in mind when interpreting the results.

One thing that I thought was interesting was about what men thought was attractive in a woman. Both men and women were asked a question regarding this picture:

Women were asked to "Click on what initially attracts MEN to this woman (in YOUR opinion)".

(brighter/warmer colors = more people clicked there)

Men were then shown the same picture and asked to "Click on what initially attracts you about this woman (OR if you are not attracted to her, don't click)." Here are the results:
So, while this picture is obviously dealing with something physical (as it is a picture...), it seems that women thought that the physical aspects were more important to men then they actually were, where men focused more on the smile. Why do you think this is? Would it be because the men are a little different audience than the norm? Are men not being honest in their responses? Is this evidence that advertising has had an effect on women and made them insecure? Other thoughts?

Flag Football.....

2009-04-02T22:40:00.001-06:00

So we're in the flag football championships...we had a game today...and we won! We're 6-0, and we hope to keep our undefeated record, because it's single elimination so if we lose we're done. It's really really fun. Interesting thing is I'm playing two positions that I've never played (offensive and defensive lines) and I REALLY like them. A lot.

On a more random note, we play on turf instead of real grass, which really gives you like rug burn...or carpet burn? I forgot what that's called...anyway, it gives rug burn or carpet burn type wounds to you if you fall, which are really annoying. It's especially bad because as a rusher I dive a lot, so below my knees and my elbows gets all hurt, and the hairs get caught in there and it's just not fun. So...I shaved those areas. And now it weirds me out every time my jeans rub against my legs, which is a lot. And I don't even know why I'm posting any of this.

Object Permanence for Infants

2009-04-01T16:51:00.002-06:00

Here's a cool video about object permanence. At six months old, when the baby can't see it, it doesn't exist. Even if they saw it covered. By ten months, babies realize that things just don't disappear.

Perspective: Library Books, Fines and Donations

2009-03-31T11:31:00.004-06:00

On February 22nd I checked out "The Count of Monte Cristo" from the BYU library. As a grad student I get three month checkout and it wasn't due until May 22nd. On March 9th they sent me an email saying the book was being recalled and that it was now due on March 16th. I didn't write that down or do anything about it because I still had a week to turn it in and the library always sends like a two-day warning before books are due. Turns out they don't do that for recalled books, even when they're recalled two months before their due date, and I ended up remembering the morning after and turning it in at noon on the 17th.

Later that same day I get an email saying the book was overdue, that I had already been charged $10, and that if I didn't turn it in within a few days I would be shot. I was pretty upset about the $10 charge, especially because I could have easily bought the book for $1. However, I figured I could get the fine waived because 1) I'd turned it in just a few hours late 2) even before they'd sent me the email saying I'd been fine, and because 3) I've heard MANY a library employee waive other patrons fines when I've eavesdropped while checking out books. It never seemed like it was a big deal for any of them.

Boy was I wrong about that one. I was told that I had committed the one offense that they CAN'T waive fines for, and that NO ONE can waive fines for it, not even for professors who get their fines waived all the time. Despite hearing what a bad thing I'd done, it still didn't seem like I'd really caused anyone $10 worth of pain and suffering and I was still a little frustrated with the whole thing.

A few hours later when I was thinking about this, I realized that I would be giving that money to BYU, and that me giving $10 to BYU wasn't such a bad thing after all. In fact, just a month before I'd voluntarily donated $10 to BYU as part of one of those students giving back drives that they always seem to be doing. Even when it turned out I wrote a check from the wrong account and my $10 donation turned into a $32.50 donation, with $22.50 going to help stimulate the economy through overdraft fees for my bank, I wasn't upset at anyone but myself. So why was I so upset over donating $10 to a school I love?

Answer: I wasn't. At least once I saw things from this new perspective. So next time you're upset, try to see things from another perspective. Unless that makes you more upset. Then I don't really recommend it.

Não Falo Português

2009-03-29T22:05:00.004-06:00

So my roommate invited me to a fireside that he heard about where Elder Scott was speaking. It was in Portuguese, which I don't speak, but fortunately 1) it's really close to spanish and 2) Elder Scott's spanish is way better than his portuguese, so more and more spanish words would trickle in as he spoke, and even when he said things in portuguese he'd pronounce a lot of them how they would be pronounced in spanish.

It was a REALLY good fireside. It was in a stake center, and definitely was tailored towards the smaller audience, with lots of questions for the audience, audience participation, and even a Q&A at the end.

One of my favorite ideas (not really a quote, because was going from portuguese to spanish, and then taking notes in english) was when Elder Scott said that next time you have a good idea, assume it's from the spirit and write it down. When you write it down and go do it you'll have a confirmation that it was from the spirit and you'll get MORE ideas because Heavenly Father will trust you more and more.

Another thing I really liked was when he encouraged us not to make our decisions based on what others do. It's easy, when faced with a decision, to look around you and make your decisions based on the status quo, but basically he said this makes Satan happy. Thinking about it now, it would obvious make ol' satan happy if what other people were doing was bad, but even more significantly I think Satan would be happy if what others were doing was a good choice or an ok choice BECAUSE if we're just doing whatever others are doing it means we're not thinking about our choices and proactively using our agency to make decisions, and that we're not counseling with the Lord and getting his input. So even if that decision that we made was good, when opposition comes we'll be much more likely to crumble under pressure. Also, it's setting us up to make bad decisions in the future when those around us aren't acting so great. The end!

Judge Not and Judging

2009-03-28T00:06:00.002-06:00

So the last line of my last post reminded me of a great talk by Elder Oaks titled "Judge Not and Judging." It talks about when we should and shouldn't judge, and when we should judge, how we should do so. The link above has it in all sorts of formats for your reading or listening pleasure. It was given on March 1st, 1998 at BYU.

Credit

2009-03-27T23:53:00.002-06:00

So I stopped by Macy's today to return a shirt, and while I was waiting for the cashier guy to do his thing I heard another cashier-person say to a young couple "I have no idea why, but your credit was denied." She said the "I have no idea why" like she was trying to distance herself from the decision, which kinda makes sense. I imagine it could be pretty embarrassing to be turned down for that thing that the store really wants you to get, and know that you were turned down because of how many other cards you have, your payment history, your lack of friends in the 10th grade, etc.

That made me think of how your credit score is really an attempt to show how responsible you are, at least with regard to bill paying. Even if you pay off all your bills, being late one month really drops your score, probably just because shows them that you're not as responsible as they previously thought you were, and you might make some irresponsible decisions which would cause you not to pay back the money you borrowed.

It's interesting to think of similar markers that we look for when dating or trying to figure out who to hire for a position (back when companies hired people, that is). We look for little things that are indications of larger aspects of their lives. The main risk as I see it is that we'll be to quick to judge / stereotype someone. Not that judging is always bad, just that we shouldn't do so rashly.

Happiness is having a toddler...

2009-03-26T10:56:00.004-06:00

Happiness is having a toddler say your name really excited-ly after you haven't seen him in a week, and then throw you his bouncy ball. Which means he remembered your name!!

Spiritual Nourishment Day 3 - Feasting vs Nibbling

2009-03-25T18:51:00.004-06:00

This post is part of a series comparing the relationship between physical and spiritual nourishment.

So the title is fairly self explanatory. We're counseled to "feast upon the words of Christ," but I know that often I don't approach reading the scriptures with the same vigor that I would have when approaching a feast. I guess one difference is that if we're snacking or nibbling, we don't have the same hunger for what we're eating. One thing is certain, the opportunity to feast is always there, as the scriptures are always full of exactly what our spirit needs. This certainly sheds new light on Christ admonition to hunger and thirst after righteousness.

Can you think of any other scriptures that help clarify this concept? What has helped you hunger and thirst after righteousness? What makes the difference between your snacking days and the feasting days? And how can we help others hunger and thirst after righteousness?

AIG Bonuses

2009-03-25T08:17:00.003-06:00

Here's a very interesting perspective on the AIG bonuses. Very different than what the media has been reporting, and I think it's a potent reminder that there are (at least) two sides to every story.

LDS Authors

2009-03-24T18:58:00.003-06:00

From Times and Seasons, except they called it "Mormons Take over the World!"

Seven items from the current Amazon.com top ten list are by LDS authors (W. Cleon Skousen, Jay A. Parry, and, of course, Stephenie Meyer, who alone has five items on the top ten list.)

Music

2009-03-24T09:21:00.008-06:00

So, I'm a lyrics person. While I do like a good beat, that won't bring me back to a song more than a few times. In the past few months music has played a larger and larger role in my life. Over the past few months I've had a number of new experiences, have gained new perspective, and have found new meaning in a number of songs that I liked, but didn't previously really connect to.

Music is also a powerful way to feel and acknowledge ones emotions. I've discovered that if I can find a song that expresses how I feel and sing along, I can feel my emotions and connect with myself on a deeper level than I would otherwise.

I think part of the appeal of good music is the feeling that someone else knows how you feel, and can express it...harmonically? Talentedly?

Spiritual Nourishment Day 2 - Variety

2009-03-22T15:33:00.008-06:00

This post is part of a series comparing the relationship between physical and spiritual nourishment.

They say "variety is the spice of life." As far as eating is concerned, this is certainly true. I remember really liking those microwaveable burritos as I was growing up. One summer, my mom bought a whole bunch of them and I, of course, ate a whole bunch of them. I probably had about one a day for about a week, when suddenly I found I didn't like them any more. At all. And to this day, I still don't.

So if you eat the same thing every day and that's all you're eating, it won't taste as good and you will enjoy eating it less and less each time you eat it. Not because you're eating that same thing again and again, but because your diet lacks variety.

Eating a variety of different foods becomes even more important when we consider how it affects our health. The ol' Atkin's diet is a bad idea not because you're eating meat, but because you're only eating meat. Similarly, vegetarians have to make sure that they get a good variety in their diets...something about making sure that they eat thing type of bean and that other thing so that they get the right kinds of protein. Yeah, I don't know the details, but variety is important! I'm sure you can think of other examples.

Our spirits also need a varied diet for the same two reasons. First, if our spiritual diet isn't varied, we will enjoy feeding our spirit less and less each time we do so. Although the need to feed our spirits is real, in today's fast-paced world it can be hard to recognize that need, and when we get bored of feeding our spirits the same way we always do we can run the risk of stopping feeding our spirits altogether or just continuing to do so in that way that lacks variety and isn't so good for us.

boring...with food, we feel the need to eat and when we get bored with one food, we just find another. The need to nourish our spirits is just as real, but we can have a hard time recognizing that need, so when we're just nourishing our spirits with the same thing again and again and that spiritual food loses it's savor, we then run the risk of stopping nourishing ourselves or just continuing to nourish ourselves with that not-very-good for us food. Not necessarily because the food itself wouldn't be good for us, but because we're not getting a variety in our diet.

So, how can our spiritual diets lack variety? We find one example in the same story that was discussed in the eating disorders day of this series. There, the spiritual bulimics who only spoke of God one day a week had another problem. When they did try to nourish themselves spiritually, they all said the exact same prayer in the exact same way every week. It was a meager meal, and empty calories at that. In the same way, I find myself being very repetitive in my prayers, often lacking real meaning or variety.

We can fall into the same trap when reading the scriptures, as they are the exact same every time we read them. However, this doesn't mean that we can't have variety in our diet when reading from the scriptures. If we have questions in mind before we read, apply what we're reading to what's going on in our life, and take notes to record the unique insights that we have, we will nourish our spirits in a unique way each time we study. In the exact way that our spirits need to be nourished at that time.

Let me know if you have any thoughts about all this either by leaving a comment or sending me an email. And next time I'll try not to be so long-winded, both for my sake and yours...

10 Myths About Happiness

2009-03-21T13:44:00.003-06:00

The Happiness Project, a website that discusses, well, happiness, recently discussed 10 Myths About Happiness. They're really interesting. If any of the statements surprise you, take a few minutes and read the posts because they really make sense once they're explained and all. Some of the myths I found most interesting were that "spending some time alone will make you feel better," "venting anger relieves it," and "you'll be happy as soon as you...".

Spiritual Nourishment Day 1 - Eating Disorders

2009-03-20T13:45:00.003-06:00

This post is part of a series on the relationship between how we nourish both our bodies and our spirits. Here is more explanation of the whole idea.

Although we don't all suffer from physical eating disorders, I feel that spiritual eating disorders are widespread and just as dangerous. I should start by saying that I don't know a lot about eating disorders. However, I just spent a few minutes on Wikipedia and am now pretty much an expert.

The scriptures talk about a group of people who had a spiritual eating disorder. They came together once a week for their worship services, did their gospel thing, and then "they returned to their homes, never speaking of God again until they had assembled themselves together again" the next week.

It's easy to fall into the worship-on-Sunday mentality, going to church and nourishing our spirits that day. Sometimes we become spiritual bing-eaters, glutting ourselves on the Sabbath and then being spiritually anorexic for the rest of the week.

In addition to our "eat too little" spiritual eating disorders, I think that sometimes we can have an even less recognized spiritual eating disorder - that of comfort / compulsive eating. Now don't get me wrong, reading our scriptures and going to church does help me feel good, as it should. It's also a good motivation to do these things. However, I don't feel like our spirituality and our relationship with God depend on these things. God loves his children, and wants us to do what's right. No one is perfect, and I think that when we realize that we've been doing something that we shouldn't, we have the tendency to read our scriptures or pray or compare ourselves with others in an attempt to feel like we're doing ok spiritually. Basically, add more weight to the "things we do right" side of the scale in an attempt to feel better about ourselves by thinking we're outweighing the "shortcomings, weaknesses, and sins" side of the scale.

In doing so, we're making a grave mistake. That's just not how the gospel works. No amount of good we do can "outweigh" our sins and make us ok. Furthermore, our relationship with God isn't about (or at least shouldn't be about) how many good things we do or how much time we spend reading our scriptures. I feel that what's really important is that we want to be closer to our Heavenly Father, that we want to accept Christ's atonement and apply it in our lives, and that we want to be better than we are. In order to be better. In order to be closer to him. Not just in order to self-medicate and think that we're so much good stuff that we're making it on our own. He doesn't expect us to make it on our own, mostly becasue we can't.

These are just my thoughts about the issue, I'd love feedback on these ideas. I'll be posting the next post in the "Spritual Nourishment" series in a few days.

Food!

2009-03-18T13:21:00.006-06:00

So yesterday I was at a Birthday / St. Patrick's Day party, where I was offered a piece of cake. Now I was full, and had already flossed and brushed my teeth that night so I almost passed. Fortunately I found that the cake, even though it looked store-bought, was a homemade from scratch type thing. It was delicious. We're talking a multiple layer chocolate cake that's not too sweet, and instead of just regular frosting between the layers there was this Andes Mint Frosting...with real Andes Mints in it. Amazing.

Anyways, so I was thinking about that and about food and how big a part of my life it is, and I was reminded of some previous thoughts I've had about nourishing other aspects of our lives. I once heard the suggestion that for important relationships, every time you nourish your body you should think of a way that you can nourish that relationship, and then you should make sure you do that.

Our spirits also need nourishment, and as I've thought about it, there are a number of parallels between how our bodies and our spirits are nourished. For the next few days (probably about five days?) I'll be posting thoughts about spiritual nourishment.

PS: I should add that "nourishment" is a weird word when you type it a lot. Also, did you know that Andes Mints are made by the Tootsie Roll company? That discovery was like finding out that Audis are made by Kia. Amazing.

Thoughts over lunch

2009-03-16T21:56:00.002-06:00

Today I helped host some admitted students at the law school. There were about 65 students that came, and I gave a group of six students a tour of the school, then went to a lunch and talked more in-depth with two of the students and two members of the school faculty. I must say, I was really scared while giving the tour. I guess I can now safely cross "tour guide" off my list of possible careers.

One interesting topic we discussed was how one could use a law degree to serve others. One thought that was shared was that if someone were to go to a more prestigious law school they would be in a better position to serve others due to the weight given by that school's name. However, if you go to a school that is less well known and then go and use your degree to go serve, you can serve others (as you would in the first case, although it could be harder to due so because your school doesn't command as much respect) but then you would also be serving the school you attended by helping it have a better reputation. That may not have made much sense. Oh well!

Keeping feelings alive

2009-03-16T13:37:00.003-06:00

Said by one of my Professors (over lunch):

"There are so many roads to take that will take you past feeling, but one way to keep your feelings alive is through literature, dance, paintings...the arts."

I wholeheartedly agree. I may write more about this later.

The Mormon Temple

2009-03-15T22:18:00.004-06:00

So there's been a lot of talk, at least among members of the Church of Jesus Christ, about "Big Love" and their portrayal of temple ceremonies on their show this last week. Times and Seasons has a spot-on post on the subject that accurately portrays how I feel about it.

Rex Lee Run

2009-03-14T16:03:00.001-06:00

Today I ran a 5k. It's the first race I've ran since my sophomore year of High School, when I did cross country. It was the Rex Lee Run, which honors Rex Lee, founding dean of BYU Law School (where I attend) and previous BYU President. He was also the solicitor general for the United States for a number of years, and here's a great quote about his work as solicitor general. It was said by David Souter, Supreme Court Justice.

Several years ago Justice Souter was asked “how advocacy before the high court had changed in recent times. Justice Souter paused for a moment and answered, ‘Well, I can tell you that the biggest change by far is that Rex Lee is gone. Rex Lee was the best Solicitor General this nation has ever had, and he is the best lawyer this Justice ever heard plead a case in this Court. Rex Lee was born to argue tough cases of immense importance to this nation. He set new standards of excellence for generations of lawyers and justices. No one thing has happened to change the nature of advocacy of this Court which has had as much impact as the loss of that one player.’” (Quoted by Utah Attorney General Jan Graham, Address at the J. Reuben Clark Law School (Feb. 28, 1998)

My goal was to run it under 22 minutes, and I ended up getting a 21:46. It was a great experience!

Spinning Into Control

2009-03-13T22:03:00.001-06:00

SO! Just decided to start a blog. I've been thinking about it for a while, but you know how those things go. As for the name, life involves a lot of spinning, and I hope that, on a whole, my spinning brings me closer to the control I hope to have.